Look, I love music. I love great CDs. Some of my friends make amazing music that I enjoy. Some don't. And some people I don't even know want me to listen to their music. Okay, sometimes I do. But not every goddamn CD that's handed to me gets listened to - I simply don't have that much time. Nobody has that much time. And not many of these CDs are really worth my time.

Why am I listening to this CD? If you aren't asking me to record your next album or mix the songs I'm checking out or paying me to analyze your recording technique and critique you (yes, I've done that), there's really no absolute reason I need to listen to an album. I can assure you that a positive CD review write-up in Tape Op (and they are almost all positive) won't sell (m)any CDs, and I've never heard of anyone getting signed through Tape Op reviews. Ever. Am I gonna be bowled over by your AMAZING recording techniques? Guess what, I'm probably not listening for that. No, I'm listening to your songs. And if I'm not bowled over by the songs/music then what the hell am I getting out of this? Jesus Christ, can I get that 45 minutes back? Can I put on Here Come The Warm Jets for the millionth time?

But read the link above, cuz I'm glad other people have to deal with similar wastes of their time - I'm not alone!

(Sorry, maybe I'm in a cranky mood)

Yup, I sit at my computer all day editing articles, writing stuff for the mag and answering the ridiculous amount of emails that always seep in over the course of a day.

illus by Eva Kihl

What engineer/producer was in the excellent Austin band, Glass Eye, which issue of Tape Op was he interviewed in and who was the author of that piece?

The ONE AND ONLY prize will be mailed out by me personally, so please allow 2 to 6 weeks for delivery unless there's a cool Netflix DVD waiting at the post office and then it will be sooner. And keep an eye out for announcement of a SXSW-timed party next year! Free drinks, music and peers! Thanks! -Larry Crane

I just finished reading the letters section in the new issue [#77] regarding interns, and wanted to relate my experience. A couple years ago, I was the first intern to volunteer to help build a new studio with an experienced engineer who had just moved to town. This wasn't a super-proper studio in terms of construction - it was very DIY and fly by the seat of your pants, but in the end it was very nice, functional and sounded good. Initially, it was very exciting learning how to do things like build bass traps and diffusors, helping paint, hang doors, hang sheetrock, installing gear, etc. . . I felt I had gotten in on the ground floor and had a real opportunity to possibly establish a mentor-type relationship with the owner/engineer. However, after the initial work was done, my duties became the usual: make coffee, take out the trash and go on burrito runs. Very occasionally I would be allowed to hang some mics. Initially I was fine with this. I figured I was paying my dues and the “learning” part of the internship would soon follow. I stayed out of the way, spoke when spoken to and didn't interject my opinion when unasked. I was punctual, hygienic, polite and paid attention. All the things I had read countless times an intern was supposed to do. I watched other interns come and go. I watched them be loudmouths, annoying and unreliable. Watched them do all the things I had read countless times you should NOT do as an intern. I thought the contrast between these people and myself would be apparent and eventually I would be deemed worthy of mentorship. I thought I would be taught how to do things like calibrate tape machines, get bitchin’ guitar tones, drum mic techniques and how and why to use each of the pieces of shiny outboard gear in the racks. A year later I was still coming in on my evenings and weekends, after working a shitty, low-paying, full-time job the rest of the week and volunteering my time for free to do the band's dishes, take out their garbage and even give them rides places in my car (and never offered gas money). I should mention that this entire time the owner was always very polite and friendly, but it eventually became obvious he was never gonna teach me shit and had no respect for my situation. He's making $40 per hour - I'm making $8.50 at my job and then coming to work for him for free. Eventually I told him I would not be coming in anymore. By that point he had a new fresh intern - new ones are always coming out of local recording programs and eager to get in. I was very polite in parting ways. We wished each other luck. Since then I have begun investing in my own gear and spending a lot of time recording my new band. Guess what? I'm learning a shitload. I'm getting better every time I record. I should have just done that from the beginning. I guess my point is, If you're a studio owner and you're taking on interns, I know they're annoying sometimes and don't know shit, but they're offering their time to you for free and deserve something more in return than the occasional morsel of info that some of us receive. It needs to be a mutually beneficial relationship. If you can't offer that then don't take interns. But remember, your knowledge is part of a legacy and it is being lost as people isolate themselves more and more because they're so afraid of competition. I hope if I ever get to a point of owning my own studio and have the benefit of actually getting to make a living recording music, I’ll be generous to the people just starting out, as long as they're making an honest effort. I wish this studio owner well and am not bearing a grudge. He is a fantastic engineer and very professional with the bands he works with. I just wanted to relate the sense of disappointment I felt in hopes that other engineers and potential interns can hopefully take something from it.
Anonymous

I will reiterate what was said often last issue: An open dialogue of communication is always the best way to start. If the guy you were helping seriously only wanted help and didn’t want to teach you anything, then maybe he could have said so from the beginning. But maybe you should have discussed this along the way - “renegotiated” so to speak? Having been in the exact same position as the studio owner you describe, I’ll bet anything he was unaware of your dissatisfaction. He was probably working 80-hour weeks, paying off massive debts, trying to schedule upcoming sessions and (possibly) maintaining a relationship and/or social life. I know - this isn’t easy. At the same time he’s got a guy coming in who helps out for free, is obviously thoughtful about it, and has another job with a guaranteed paycheck (something the studio owner does not have). Maybe the owner should have asked you more about your goals at some point, but maybe you should have given him a list of things you’d like to learn more about. Arranging to notate questions during sessions, and to discuss them when clients are not present, would be the first step. When I used to take on interns on a regular basis I always hoped that if I spent a lot of energy training them that they would begin to take on sessions at my studio, help alleviate the workload, give me a day off and bring in a bit of income. Very, very few ever did (you folks know who you are). Some chose to take this knowledge and start recording people in makeshift setups. Some never wanted to record other people’s music again. One is now managing my studio. I finally decided I wouldn’t take on any interns personally - I would rather pay a studio manager to cover some tasks or do them myself when in session and avoid “owing” anyone for interning. To be honest, it’s been a relief. -LC

I just received the first promo cassette in a long time from Odessa Records' Shit Horse. Alright! Wait, what year is it? Fucking A. I have a cassette player in the basement, and I could go down there, grab it, plug it all in and give this a listen, or I could just send it off to be recycled care of Green Disc. Which one sounds like a better plan? Oh well. More music going unheard. At least I don't have to whine about watermarked CDs or the huge pile of stuff I dropped off at my pal's record store...

PS: I won't even comment on the band's wonderful name. Look up my history of being in bands and you may see why!

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What do I usually spend my time saying "no" to?

Listening to every CD submitted for review.
Responding to PR requests to listen to these CDs.
Downloading "albums" that will never physically be released.
Anything mentioning the word "demo" unless related to a session I'm producing.
Visiting a MySpace page and sending someone a 4000 word critique of their music.
Watching most any video on YouTube.
Article ideas that obviously don't fit the scope of Tape Op's interests.
Article ideas that are presented by 90% of the PR people.
Article ideas we have already published.
Article ideas about live sound.
Article ideas about post production.
Article ideas about sound for broadcast.
Article ideas about film soundtrack mixing.
Suggestions for articles that seem only bent on benefiting the sender.
Most requests to personally review products.
Requests to personally review products that I would never use in the real world.
Personal emails asking my opinion on two pieces of gear, neither of which I have ever used.
Requests to be interviewed for students' school papers.
Outside requests that involve more of Tape Op's time than we can afford.
Requests for new product mentions. (Uh, where in the mag do you see these?)
Requests to run press releases. (Uh, where in the mag do you see these?)
Press releases that mention XXXX Studio installed XXXX console. (Where?)
Press releases trumpeting the launch of a new studio. I'll wait until they have done lots of cool albums instead.
Anything that mentions John Mayer.
Intern requests.
Requests for information on where to intern.
Requests asking me who should track, mix or produce an upcoming album. Uh, don't I offer these services as well?

Keeping one's self productive is difficult at times. If you find yourself not getting work done and feeling pulled in every which direction, think about the word "no" and how to use it effectively. "No."

We're thinking of printing some bumper stickers to help promote the Tape Op brand name. Our ideas have included:

"My Other Car is a Tape Op"
"My Child is an Honor Student at Tape Op"
"Honk if You're Tape Op"
"I'd rather be reading Tape Op"
"Powered by Tape Op"
"Show me your Tape Ops"
"Don't Laugh, it's Tape Op"
"Tape Op is my Co-Pilot"
"Tape Op, not just for breakfast"
"Gas, Tape Op or Ass, nobody rides for free"
"I read Tape Op and I vote"
"Tape Op on Board"

I think it's for real? Is it? What is it? Why?

See Barry Rudolph's report on Treeverb